break in cleaning

This will be possibly short and to the point. This is because I'm taking a break from cleaning.

It's strange when I think I've got a pretty good hold on life, and I actually have no clue. I think that I've got things together and I'm on top of it. That's when my world gets shaken and things become unsure and unknown.

Summer started off well and I've been really excited for the warm weather (which actually did come until the end of June). Then a co-worker I've always admired, and enjoyed working with, gets sick suddenly 5 weeks after having a baby. She dies a week later. Everything seems different at work now. People are more upset, more edgy. Not as willing to help, be kind, and overlook simple mistakes or judgment calls. I've become extremely insecure and too aware of myself teaching and handling the new class of 4 year olds. I feel stubborn that I don't want to help in planning things for her because she shouldn't have died in the first place, yet remember those living and grieving like her husband and daughters.

Weddings are unpredictable. You never know whats going to happen, what's going to go wrong or what's actually the most fun. Sometimes I meet new friends and that is always fun, but we usually don't see each other again, or at least for a very long time.

I keep super busy because I like to live the summer out to its fullest. Hopefully tomorrow's mini party is fun and doesn't add anxiety when I mean to just have fun. We cleaned all day today for it, but really it needed to be done regardless. Maybe that's why I invited a bunch of people over-for the excuse to do the deep cleaning.

Money. there are so many things I could say about it, most bitter, but it doesn't matter because we need it to live and there's no point in dwelling in the lack of it.

Back to cleaning.