one word blog

Hard work
frustration
determination
regaining confidence
new ideas
ambition!
exciting
happy
accomplished
eager
planning
too much to do
weekend plans
birthday party!
duluth
see everyone?
going out to eat
party!
but not too much
not much sleep
where to sleep?
another work week....

I haven't had much to say lately. Staying at home all day, I've been doing the same things, everyday. At least the apartment is getting thoroughly cleaned.

I spend most of my time looking at cars. I wish I had a car to go look at cars.

laugh- paranoia

My job search has resumed.

It's my first day, unemployed, since May of 2007. Im not sure how I feel about that by any means. I do know that its freakin cold in my apartment- lower 60s, and it won't warm up!! the heat doesn't work when temperatures are so cold. I could go ask the office, but that seems unfair- maybe everyone's doesn't work, its not their fault its so cold.

Writing on this blog is strange. It's so free to post whatever I want. Even more free than my paranoid thoughts believed. See, I googled myself and I gotta laugh- my common name hides me so well. I always make fun of my not-so-new last name. I love my name and everything, but I just poke fun at the fact that its SO common. But, I couldn't be happier now, that my last name is Jones. I searched through 8 google pages and couldn't find my blogs and facebook. That's GREAT!! While I love the online community and the fact that friends are so accessible, I was starting to get really paranoid that my potential employers were going to find my blogs and other sites and judge me before hiring me. Maybe they could try other searches, but on google- I'm pretty hidden. All you'll find is a soap opera star and some other famous people way more interesting than me.

Another weird feeling about writing on this particular blog is I feel kind of alone writing on it. I haven't told many people about it, and I feel like I'm talking to myself. In my case, this is ok, because sometimes I just have to get thoughts out and written down in organized thought so I don't make myself crazy. I'm more free to be myself on here too, if I don't think 100 people could read it.

I have to email a friend now. Bye, self.

*correction- I found myself via my name and city, but it's a really old profile with the wrong info anyway. so you can stalk someone online, but I wouldn't recommend it.

Contradicted change

I feel alone, and already sad as if I already had my last day at work. I feel the weight of missing so many people on my shoulders. I really dislike missing people. It's a very silly thing to dislike because life is filled with missing people and in a way, it makes life more meaningful if we even have people to miss. I just wish I could stay in touch better. Email, at least, makes this somewhat possible.

There's so many normal things stressing me out. If everyone is upset about the same thing I feel like its pointless to be upset about it. It should be just an accepted reality. The main thing I'm talking about is MONEY. No one has enough of it, especially now, so its the last thing I want to hear anyone complain about, but its the first thing on everyone's mind.

I'm also really sad that a new friend is moving away. REALLY sad.

I think I talk too much at work. I need to start getting my thoughts out by writing again, then I'm not forcing anyone to listen or be distracted at work.

My random complaint is that my allergies must be acting up again. This is my first winter being "healthy" after all my sinus and allergies problems. I was good until lately, I feel soooo abnormally tired, and my sinuses hurt all the time- making my head feel like a hundred pounds. I already went on antibiotics during christmas because i started aching head to toe and stuff, but the healthyness didn't last long after. I vacuumed today and will keep up on that and brushing my cats.

It's very hard to be at work, trying not to think about it being my last weeks, trying not to be super buddy with kids because i know I'm leaving, and still trying to do a good job because I don't want to slack off.

I just watched the Clash DVD. It was enjoyable.

hm

I wish I could be happier but its my own fault this week that my gloom and doom takes over. I thought that I would have so much fun here, why not, right? But, i didn't count on waking up Tuesday feeling like a truck hit me, then driving longer than necessary on wed (and later than we planned) missing out on activities.

Saw Marley and Me, yeah a great movie if you like to spend your day crying your eyes out. I like to be entertained at the theater not be embarrassed by my swollen red eyes and feeling depressed. They trick you into laughing through half the movie and then slap you with reality, as life often does, and bam you are grabbing you kleenex and wondering why do anything in life.

I'm being bah humbug and just need to "shape up!" Even my caribou coffee made me stomach feel like its inside out.

Twilight Review

I read Twilight in less than one week. It was amazing. The emotion, interactions, descriptions.... amazing. This book has gotten so many people to read an actual book. Almost every female I know has read this book, even as long as it is, or has heard of it.

The movie pales in comparison. But, of course it does! It would be very hard to find an actual person as beautiful as the vampires were described, especially with acting talent. With the descriptions of all the characters being so perfectly envisioned, I feel like the actors and actresses had their work cut out for them. However, the director - Catherine Hardwicke - did a horrible job of directing these actors/actresses!!! I didn't feel emotionally moved by the movie, which is surprising considering the book. The scenes looked like it was trying to be reality tv, or like "the hills". (I've only see 10 minutes of Hills episode before turning it off in disgust). My friend said it looked like a B movie and I absolutely agree, but the worst kind of B movie. I'm even fond of quite a few B movies but this one teetered more on awkward than unique. If she directs the next movie, New Moon, which I read it last week, I probably won't even go see it. She doesn't deserve to have the record for best opening weekend for a female director.

I enjoyed Edward and Bella's acting most of the time, and think it was fault of the screenwriter for any awkwardness. The casting of about half the characters was perfect, but the other half made it painful to watch. Why were such unknown actors (and untalented) cast for this big of a movie?? The movie skipped around a lot and if i probably only enjoyed it as much as i did because I had read the book.

Apparently- due to the numbers, everything i just critisized doesn't matter. Talent doesn't seem matter. The fan base, Edward's "hotness factor", and perhaps publicity, made this movie successful. Not the talent, the script, or the directing. Hardwicke and Rosenberg (screenwriter) are just riding the wave of Stephenie Meyer's brillantly entertaining novel.

Strangely enough, after my rant on perserving talent and not selling out, I would say I'd see the movie again in the future. And I'm sure kids and perhaps teenagers who don't care how bad the directing is would see it again. I did enjoy seeing some parts and it is fun to see parts of the book in action. I feel like i would have a clearer perspective of the movie if i saw it again, whether it be better or worse.